Well.... on Thursday the 26th at 3:30 sharp my grandfather passed on. by 3:34 I was over at their house to grieve with my mother and grandmother.
I kissed his forhead swept his hair back and sat down with my mom.... while we all cried and hugged, I'll miss him, but I felt like he was finally where he belonged.....
He never did like SoCal weather.... and that was the odd thing.
When I ran over to their house, it was overcast and humid..... (mind you, I live on the edge of a desert...we only get a couple inches of rain a year, if that).......my dad came in later and told me and my sister to come look at the sunrise...
we walked outside and it starting RAINING.
the sun shown through gaps in the clouds..it was amazing..
for some strange reason I turned around in the opposite direction... and there was a rainbow.
*yes, I starting quietly crying at this point*
and while we watched it became a double rainbow.... and then thunder clapped.
I couldn't help but notice that the rainbow was in the West sky... *west often represents good for some reason I've long forgotten*
In the Bible God creates the rainbow as a promise to Noah and the earth that he'll never flood the earth again....
but this time it felt like a different promise....
That one day I'll see him again.
That being said, I've lost two pets and a family member in the past three months. It's been rough. But I'll be okay. I'm slowly returning to blogging. *I still have a bunch of health issues bothering me* I probably won't be back to full speed for awhile, but I'll keep in contact, I promise!
Friday, August 3, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Grandfather
Hi guys!
I was away for a week, in NYC!! *squeals* I know right? I had an amazing time despite the health issues that prevented me from a total experience... I'll recap what all I did later. (attended Book Expo America!)
What's more important to me than books?
Only two things top that... My relationship with God (yeah, yeah, I'm not going to go preaching to you, this is just a statement...) and my family.
You may remember a while back ago that I was in Fresno for a doctors appointment, and I found a SIGNED copy of The Fault in Our Stars in the bookstore (awesome, right?) I'd heard a TON about how amazing it was, and that I really needed to read it. I was naturally JAZZED that I found one..signed. Just as I opened the book and started reading....my mother got a call. It was my dad, saying that a friend (my grandfather's doctor) had called him and told him that he was running tests, but to be prepared..
My grandfather had cancer.... Needless to say, I put the book down and just sat with my mom the three hours drive home.
My grandfather did have cancer (He's had it before, but went through chemo) and this time he'd decided to let it take him, that he was done fighting, he felt like he'd lived his life of 81 years (which I was sad, but fully understood..)
Unfortunately he's also has Alzheimer's (since about...2003) but I should say, he's been mentally unaffected....he knew who the president was, what team was playing on the weekends (further, he made his own brackets!)
It just affected him physically, he had to stop driving, he couldn't walk without a walker etc... BUT he was still mentally there, and for that we were all thankful!
Anyway.....Papa (my grandfather) was always close to me, he used to buy me treats, yell at me for running in front of the TV, drive me to church, told me war stories, used to take me out for breakfast, and all other kinds of crazy stories from his life...he even told me where he wanted to be buried... While I wasn't his first granddaughter I always felt special.... out of all his grandchildren he chose to follow my family across the country..just to be with us... he even use to laugh and call me (recently) his genius/famous granddaughter (he thought the whole website concept was pretty cool.. even if he didn't understand it totally) He wished me good luck for New York, and told me to conquer the world at Book Expo America..
Before the BEA, I was plagued with nightmares, every night, the same dream. I'd go off to New York...and he'd die without me saying goodbye. One day I had a tearful confession moment with my dad, I told him about my nightmares and told him that in the dream, they didn't tell me till I got home that he'd died... (his parents did a similar thing with his grandparents and didn't tell him until after his college year was over...)
I went to NY, had a mostly fabulous time and we came back.... the next day we rushed to my grandparents house (um...well, ran, it's about 20 feet away in my backyard..)
He said hello, (called me Debbie) asked how NY went... and he fell asleep. the next day...we came again. and he asked how NY went...
The next day we came...... he asked if I was still with that man, if I still wanted to marry him (he thought I was my aunt Debbie..the only time she married was in 1977...)
The next day my mom went....he asked where his brother was...he was going to be late! they were going to wait until night fall and go steal the farmer's watermelons (for the record, they'd eat the innards, and lay them back together in the field...) The year of this event would have been 1938 or so..
and yesterday he thought I was the doctor...and he wondered who that cute little girl was (my sister, who really isn't little...*14yrs old*) and last night he fell out of bed twice, saying he needed to go shut the girls up because they were clearly fighting with each other... (referring to the 80's when my aunts used to fight each other all the time..)
and today the most heartbreaking news of all...the actual nurse came and we told her about these moments, were he starts moving his arms...kind of like climbing an invisible ladder...and she says what they commonly see in cancer patients who mentally aren't there.. is that they see past on loved ones and/or angels..and that they want to grab on to them...
after he ate a little breakfast this morning he went back to sleep and he hasn't woken up since... He's still alive, but I can't help but remember a discussion I had with him before I left NY.. he said he'd had a private meeting with Jesus and asked him what was taking so long.
I can't help but wonder if he actually did have a stern talking with him. I can't help but think he actually did pass on while I was in NY...it just wasn't physically..
I was away for a week, in NYC!! *squeals* I know right? I had an amazing time despite the health issues that prevented me from a total experience... I'll recap what all I did later. (attended Book Expo America!)
What's more important to me than books?
Only two things top that... My relationship with God (yeah, yeah, I'm not going to go preaching to you, this is just a statement...) and my family.
You may remember a while back ago that I was in Fresno for a doctors appointment, and I found a SIGNED copy of The Fault in Our Stars in the bookstore (awesome, right?) I'd heard a TON about how amazing it was, and that I really needed to read it. I was naturally JAZZED that I found one..signed. Just as I opened the book and started reading....my mother got a call. It was my dad, saying that a friend (my grandfather's doctor) had called him and told him that he was running tests, but to be prepared..
My grandfather had cancer.... Needless to say, I put the book down and just sat with my mom the three hours drive home.
My grandfather did have cancer (He's had it before, but went through chemo) and this time he'd decided to let it take him, that he was done fighting, he felt like he'd lived his life of 81 years (which I was sad, but fully understood..)
Unfortunately he's also has Alzheimer's (since about...2003) but I should say, he's been mentally unaffected....he knew who the president was, what team was playing on the weekends (further, he made his own brackets!)
It just affected him physically, he had to stop driving, he couldn't walk without a walker etc... BUT he was still mentally there, and for that we were all thankful!
Anyway.....Papa (my grandfather) was always close to me, he used to buy me treats, yell at me for running in front of the TV, drive me to church, told me war stories, used to take me out for breakfast, and all other kinds of crazy stories from his life...he even told me where he wanted to be buried... While I wasn't his first granddaughter I always felt special.... out of all his grandchildren he chose to follow my family across the country..just to be with us... he even use to laugh and call me (recently) his genius/famous granddaughter (he thought the whole website concept was pretty cool.. even if he didn't understand it totally) He wished me good luck for New York, and told me to conquer the world at Book Expo America..
Before the BEA, I was plagued with nightmares, every night, the same dream. I'd go off to New York...and he'd die without me saying goodbye. One day I had a tearful confession moment with my dad, I told him about my nightmares and told him that in the dream, they didn't tell me till I got home that he'd died... (his parents did a similar thing with his grandparents and didn't tell him until after his college year was over...)
I went to NY, had a mostly fabulous time and we came back.... the next day we rushed to my grandparents house (um...well, ran, it's about 20 feet away in my backyard..)
He said hello, (called me Debbie) asked how NY went... and he fell asleep. the next day...we came again. and he asked how NY went...
The next day we came...... he asked if I was still with that man, if I still wanted to marry him (he thought I was my aunt Debbie..the only time she married was in 1977...)
The next day my mom went....he asked where his brother was...he was going to be late! they were going to wait until night fall and go steal the farmer's watermelons (for the record, they'd eat the innards, and lay them back together in the field...) The year of this event would have been 1938 or so..
and yesterday he thought I was the doctor...and he wondered who that cute little girl was (my sister, who really isn't little...*14yrs old*) and last night he fell out of bed twice, saying he needed to go shut the girls up because they were clearly fighting with each other... (referring to the 80's when my aunts used to fight each other all the time..)
and today the most heartbreaking news of all...the actual nurse came and we told her about these moments, were he starts moving his arms...kind of like climbing an invisible ladder...and she says what they commonly see in cancer patients who mentally aren't there.. is that they see past on loved ones and/or angels..and that they want to grab on to them...
after he ate a little breakfast this morning he went back to sleep and he hasn't woken up since... He's still alive, but I can't help but remember a discussion I had with him before I left NY.. he said he'd had a private meeting with Jesus and asked him what was taking so long.
I can't help but wonder if he actually did have a stern talking with him. I can't help but think he actually did pass on while I was in NY...it just wasn't physically..
Monday, May 7, 2012
Carnival - Booth X
she crouched low, ready to take on her target, she hurdled over the desk, ran down the hall and approached the mahogany door. she kicked it open! but instead of finding her target....she found..
A LIBRARY FULL OF SPY BOOKS.
*dons narrator voice* Welcome to BOOTH X of the CARNIVAL! *gestures wildly with hands*, this booth is dedicated the ninjas, spies, and other shady characters of our YA world. From the serious, - I-can-kill-you-in-six-different-ways-with-my-bare-hands spies, to the ones just in it for the spoils of war!...
Let me introduce you to our featured spies....
Agent #1: Gobi Zaksauskas;
*smashes through stage window*
Lithuanian exchange student with more than a few secrets, she can definitely kill you in (more) than six ways with her bare hands. Her story is narrated by Perry Stormaire, he catalogues her transformation from quiet drab Lithuanian to sexy, unstoppable revenge seeker in the book Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick.
Agent #2: Otto Malpense;
*lasers open ceiling and repels down*
Thirteen, English native, has a plot to destroy the most powerful man in the country...one that actually works. That's how he ended up hand picked for H.I.V.E. a school for super villains. He is destined to be the best....but soon, he'll be the villain of the villains..
Agent #3: Cammie Morgan;
*Smashes through door*
fifteen, knows over a dozen languages, and is enrolled in the most prestigious secret spy school..and all girls school...so when Cammie starts falling for a boy in the city, can she keep her identities secret? As well as find out what happened to her father who died in the field? Her journey is recorded in I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You
Agent #4: Natalie
*Rips off janitor disguise and jumps on stage*
Natalie - Dr. Aphrodite, the girl with all the love advice (and the paper column to prove it) goes undercover and reinvents herself as Nat...it's just her and a week spying on what guys really think, do and want for an entire week. Her motivation? An investigative journalism award...and her dreamy roommate. Chaos and hilarity ensues... She was miss popular in her school, but in Boyland, she's a nobody. Read her zany adventures in Babe in Boyland...
*mumbles about repair expenses* Now your all familiar I'll have you know that I haven't read Babe in Boyland or I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You...yet *stares at amazon buttons*. I fully intend to...but here is your fabulous opportunity to win one of these fabulous books! *stares at audience and points* You only have to do two things....give me your email...
and give me a code!
Go to the 24th page of the book you are reading and look at the first full sentence.....and make a code out of it! It can be simple, funny, serious....whatever floats your goat! (yes, I know it's supposed to be 'boat' but you don't live with me...around here, trust me...it's goat.)
and in case your sentence is really boring like...'She walked into the room.' Feel free to use the names of objects in the room you are in... like BANANA. or....Ficus. When a ficus walks into the room its a whole lot more interesting!
Comment! What other great YA spy books have you read?
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The Vicious Deep Review and Giveaway!
Read my review Here
And what's up for grabs? I'm springing for a finished/complete copy of the Vicious Deep (I think I'm too attatched to my ARC *tear*) and a PIN (Like a cool one you can stick on a backpack) and these huge-ish stickers. while there is only one book, there will be multiple winners for the stickers :)
USA only. Sorry guys, way too expensive to ship so far!
And what's up for grabs? I'm springing for a finished/complete copy of the Vicious Deep (I think I'm too attatched to my ARC *tear*) and a PIN (Like a cool one you can stick on a backpack) and these huge-ish stickers. while there is only one book, there will be multiple winners for the stickers :)
USA only. Sorry guys, way too expensive to ship so far!
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